change & chance

im kinda fed up with
how slow these last few months
have been going. theres a bunch
of things that i have to do
this month and next, ap tests
and SATs and other stuff outside
of school too, and for some
reason time slows down whenever
i dont want it to. but as i look
back to the beginning of the year
i realize its gone by way faster
than i would have wanted.

aghhh! why cant it be fall again.
i hate the sun.

and then theres the fact that
things arent going my way. change
should be faster and bound to my
will, not to chance.

the universe is moving under
me- i just hope its going in
the right direction.